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Love, an important ingredient for marital success

BY: Folashade Ajayi

Knowing that real love never ends, should help you understand there is no such thing as “falling in” and “out of love”.

Love is not primarily an emotion, but an attitude of the heart. Love is an unconditional giving of self to others regardless of the circumstances or condition. It is one of the major requirements for making any marriage work.

What It Means to Love Your Spouse

Have you ever thought about what you mean when you say the words, I love you to your spouse? In counseling people regularly declare their love for their spouse. However, if the person making this profession of love is struggling in their marriage, I usually ask them to define the word love for me. I ask for this definition because I have found that many couples struggle with loving each other in two ways.

The first is that they usually don’t understand the practical actions that are involved in loving another.

The second problem is much worse. Once a person knows how to love their spouse, they simply choose not to act on this knowledge. This failure to walk in love is the most common cause of problems in a marriage. Therefore, test your knowledge of what it means to love and determine if you are behaving in a manner that is helping or hindering your relationship.

 Love to a man is a command love unconditionally

    Submission to a woman is an act of obedience to God Love + respect – submission

Greek meaning of love for better understanding.

1. Phileo – is love on the level of casual friendship, marriage requires a deeper, more focused  love Phileo provides

 Phileo focus on personalities and physical attraction

Phileo tends to be ‘conditional’ love. As long as certain condition exist, the relationship exist.

2. Storge – the love of family

3. Eros – sexual love eros embrace sexual longing, craving, and desire, romantic love

4. Philia- shared experience-love for a shared goal

5. Ludus-flirting, playful affection

6. Philautia- self-respect, the joy in being true to our own values. The strength to care for

   ourselves, so that we can care for others- not selfish kind of love

7. Pragma-love which endures. Love between married couple; endures in sickness and lack

8. Agape – the divine love, unconditional love, sacrificial love. Without agape love forgiveness becomes difficult.

A Communication

Ways to enhance Communication

1. Be a good listener- good listener are good lovers

2. Be sincere- don’t say things that you don’t mean, speak clearly

3. Be mindful of correct timing- seek for the right time to talk

4. Be sensitive about the location- always choose right time and right place to say things.

5. Be sensitive about the manner of approach- the tone of your voice and posture. Treat your

   partner with utmost respect.

6. Gist, play, touch and gossip.

B   Knowing likes and dislike

Every partner should get to know what are the likes and dislikes of your spouse for the good interest of your relationship. Likes are those things that gladden your heart, which you always want to experience. Please protect as much as possible. E.g food; social activities; football

Dislikes are those things that annoy you, which you will not want anybody to do to you or give you. They distaste and upset you.

C   Understanding:

Family background, Cultural background, Educational background, Religious background, Social background

D. Be Patience

E. Intimacy

Types of intimacy

    Physical intimacy

    Emotional intimacy

    Sexual intimacy

How to fulfill your part.

1. Be willing to learn

2. Be ready to improve

3. Get education- Attend seminars, conference and read books

4. Communicate

Couples should understand that love has the power to cure all emotional anomalies, it helps to eliminate or minimize conflicts. Love makes marriage easier and blissful.

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Lifestyle

Denari, Tracy evicted from the BBNaija S10 show

Two housemates, Denari and Tracy, have been evicted from the Big Brother Naija Season 10 show after a very eventful week seven. The first housemate whose eviction was announced by show host Ebuka Obi–Uchendu was Denari. Tracy followed him out of the Big Brother Naija house not too long after.

During the live show interview with Ebuka, Denari was asked about his romantic relationship with Doris, who left the show last Sunday.

Ebuka asked, “Is this really real with Doris?” Denari responded in the affirmative, saying, “of course.”

To the typical “what next” question from evicted housemates, Denari said he’s open to every and any opportunity in the entertainment industry, including Ebuka’s job as the Big Brother Naija show host.

“Everything entertainment. I’m a good actor, singer and I can do this thing you are doing too (referring to Ebuka hosting the BBNaija show),” Denari said.

Tracy, in her live show interview, was asked by Ebuka why she said she wanted to leave the house earlier in the week. She responded that “the house was mentally exhausting.”

Describing her experience in the house, she said she enjoyed herself even though the house is crazy.

For Ebuka’s weekly throwback-inspired fashion statement, he delved into politics, tracing back 48 years to draw inspiration from the outfit former Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo wore during a 1977 visit to the White House to meet former US President Jimmy Carter.

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Entertainment

Social media Use Influences My Decision To sign an artist

In a recent interview on the Afrobeats Podcast, Mavin Records in-house disc jockey, DJ Big N, shared that Don Jazzy’s decision to sign Ayra Starr was influenced by the activity on her social media page.

According to him, before the Mavin Records boss signs anyone, he goes to their social media page, and if he doesn’t see sufficient posts about their craft, he will refuse to consider such an artist.

“Jazzy would go to your Instagram and scroll, if you don’t have about 10 – 15 posts there, he will not be moved because your work ethic is poor,” he shared.

DJ Big N’s words further capture Don Jazzy’s approach to identifying talents he wants to work with.

The legendary music producer, musician, and label boss has previously shared in various interviews that he prides himself on his work ethic as much as his talent when deciding on talent.

According to Jazzy, talent can be developed, but a work ethic is way harder to build in an artist who lacks it.

For Don Jazzy and many A&Rs and labels, the willingness of an artist to share their craft through years of development on social media is a way to identify potential talent.

More than ever before, social media has become a primary platform for emerging artists to get visibility and build an audience.

Don Jazzy’s policy of prioritizing work ethics has yielded positive results for his Mavin Records, which is home to some of Nigeria’s finest talents, including the Grammy-nominated superstars Rema and Ayra Starr.

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Health

5 Common Daily Habits Bad for Your Brain Health

Your brain is the control center of your entire body; it handles your thoughts, memories, emotions, and even how you move. Just like any other important part of your body, your brain needs care and attention to stay healthy. Many people unknowingly follow habits every day that slowly damage brain function. Here are five common daily habits that could be harming your brain without you even realizing it

1. Skipping Breakfast

You’ve heard it before: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Yet many people rush out the door without eating. When you skip breakfast, your brain doesn’t get the glucose (sugar) it needs to function properly. This can make you feel tired, unfocused, and moody. Over time, constantly missing breakfast can affect your memory and mental performance.

2. Not Getting Enough Sleep

Sleep is your brain’s time to recharge. It processes information, forms memories, and clears out waste products. When you sleep less than the recommended 7–9 hours a night, your brain becomes foggy. Long-term sleep deprivation has been linked to poor concentration, slower thinking, depression, and even Alzheimer’s disease.

3. Too Much Screen Time

From scrolling on your phone to watching TV or working on a computer, screens are everywhere. While technology can be helpful, too much screen time can lead to digital overload. It reduces your attention span, affects your sleep, and limits real-life interactions. Excessive screen use also keeps your brain from engaging in activities that build creativity and critical thinking like reading, playing games, or having face-to-face conversations.

4. Lack of Physical Exercise

Believe it or not, your brain loves it when you move. Physical activity increases blood flow to the brain and boosts the production of chemicals that improve mood and memory. Sitting for long hours without exercising weakens these benefits. A sedentary lifestyle has been linked to a higher risk of cognitive decline and mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

5. Multitasking

Trying to do several things at once, like texting while eating, watching TV while working, or checking emails during conversations, may seem efficient, but it makes your brain less effective. Multitasking reduces your focus, lowers productivity, and makes it harder to remember information. Over time, it can lead to mental fatigue and stress.

The good news? These harmful habits can be changed. Start your day with a healthy breakfast, aim for 7–9 hours of quality sleep, move your body regularly, take breaks from screens, and give your full attention to one task at a time. These small changes can go a long way in keeping your brain sharp, focused, and healthy for years to come. After all, your brain works for you 24/7, it deserves better than burnout.

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