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Love, an important ingredient for marital success

BY: Folashade Ajayi

Knowing that real love never ends, should help you understand there is no such thing as “falling in” and “out of love”.

Love is not primarily an emotion, but an attitude of the heart. Love is an unconditional giving of self to others regardless of the circumstances or condition. It is one of the major requirements for making any marriage work.

What It Means to Love Your Spouse

Have you ever thought about what you mean when you say the words, I love you to your spouse? In counseling people regularly declare their love for their spouse. However, if the person making this profession of love is struggling in their marriage, I usually ask them to define the word love for me. I ask for this definition because I have found that many couples struggle with loving each other in two ways.

The first is that they usually don’t understand the practical actions that are involved in loving another.

The second problem is much worse. Once a person knows how to love their spouse, they simply choose not to act on this knowledge. This failure to walk in love is the most common cause of problems in a marriage. Therefore, test your knowledge of what it means to love and determine if you are behaving in a manner that is helping or hindering your relationship.

 Love to a man is a command love unconditionally

    Submission to a woman is an act of obedience to God Love + respect – submission

Greek meaning of love for better understanding.

1. Phileo – is love on the level of casual friendship, marriage requires a deeper, more focused  love Phileo provides

 Phileo focus on personalities and physical attraction

Phileo tends to be ‘conditional’ love. As long as certain condition exist, the relationship exist.

2. Storge – the love of family

3. Eros – sexual love eros embrace sexual longing, craving, and desire, romantic love

4. Philia- shared experience-love for a shared goal

5. Ludus-flirting, playful affection

6. Philautia- self-respect, the joy in being true to our own values. The strength to care for

   ourselves, so that we can care for others- not selfish kind of love

7. Pragma-love which endures. Love between married couple; endures in sickness and lack

8. Agape – the divine love, unconditional love, sacrificial love. Without agape love forgiveness becomes difficult.

A Communication

Ways to enhance Communication

1. Be a good listener- good listener are good lovers

2. Be sincere- don’t say things that you don’t mean, speak clearly

3. Be mindful of correct timing- seek for the right time to talk

4. Be sensitive about the location- always choose right time and right place to say things.

5. Be sensitive about the manner of approach- the tone of your voice and posture. Treat your

   partner with utmost respect.

6. Gist, play, touch and gossip.

B   Knowing likes and dislike

Every partner should get to know what are the likes and dislikes of your spouse for the good interest of your relationship. Likes are those things that gladden your heart, which you always want to experience. Please protect as much as possible. E.g food; social activities; football

Dislikes are those things that annoy you, which you will not want anybody to do to you or give you. They distaste and upset you.

C   Understanding:

Family background, Cultural background, Educational background, Religious background, Social background

D. Be Patience

E. Intimacy

Types of intimacy

    Physical intimacy

    Emotional intimacy

    Sexual intimacy

How to fulfill your part.

1. Be willing to learn

2. Be ready to improve

3. Get education- Attend seminars, conference and read books

4. Communicate

Couples should understand that love has the power to cure all emotional anomalies, it helps to eliminate or minimize conflicts. Love makes marriage easier and blissful.

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Entertainment

King Charles Reveals His 17 track Playlist With Davido’s Song Making The Cut

Nigerian five-time Grammy nominee Davido is one of the artists whose songs are on King Charles III’s 17-track playlist, which was recently launched on Apple Music.

Speaking on the song’s inclusion, the King stated that he loves pidgin English while recalling his admirable attempt to make a speech in Nigerian pidgin English when he last visited the West African country.

The hitmaker is the only Nigerian on the list, and he’s joined by late South African music legend Mariam Makeba, whose song ‘The Click Song’ also made the playlist.

‘Kante,’ featuring Fave, is one of the hit songs from Davido’s Grammy-nominated album ‘Timeless,’ released in 2023. The album enjoyed commercial success and set several streaming and charting records.

Speaking on the playlist, the English monarch stated that he wanted to share the songs that have brought him joy.

“I wanted to share with you songs which have brought me joy. They evoke many different styles and many different cultures. But all of them, like the family of Commonwealth nations, in their many different ways, share the same love of life in all its richness and diversity.”

King Charles III, who is the head of the Commonwealth, shared that he hopes listeners enjoy the playlist and perhaps discover new songs through it.

“I can only hope you have enjoyed these few songs I have had time to share with you. Perhaps you have heard some of your own favorite pieces- and perhaps you may have discovered something new.”

King Charles III’s playlist is another interaction between the monarch and Nigerian music as Afrobeats superstar Tiwa Savage performed at his coronation event in May 2023.

The inclusion of Davido’s ‘Kante’ is a recognition of the global popularity of Nigerian music and the country’s importance to the Commonwealth organization.

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Health

Superfoods to Boost Your Immune System

A strong immune system is essential for defending your body against illnesses and infections. While no single food can guarantee immunity, incorporating nutrient-rich superfoods into your diet can help strengthen your body’s natural defenses. Packed with vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, these superfoods provide the building blocks your immune system needs to function optimally. Here’s a list of top superfoods to include in your diet for an immune system boost.

Citrus Fruits

Citrus fruits like oranges, grapefruits, lemons, and limes are well-known for their high vitamin C content. This powerful antioxidant helps stimulate the production of white blood cells, essential for fighting infections.

How to Include: Add fresh lemon juice to water, and enjoy an orange as a snack.

Yogurt

Yogurt contains probiotics that support gut health, especially varieties with live and active cultures. Since a significant portion of the immune system resides in the gut, maintaining a healthy microbiome is key to overall immunity.

How to Include: Opt for plain, unsweetened yogurt and add honey or fresh fruits for natural sweetness.

Sweet Potatoes

Sweet potatoes are an excellent source of beta carotene, which the body converts into vitamin A. Vitamin A is crucial for maintaining the health of mucous membranes, which act as a barrier to pathogens.

How to Include: Roast sweet potatoes with olive oil and spices, or mash them as a side dish.

Ginger

Ginger is a natural anti-inflammatory and antioxidant. It can help reduce inflammation and combat oxidative stress, which can weaken the immune system. Ginger is also beneficial for soothing sore throats and nausea.

How to Include: Brew fresh ginger tea, add grated ginger to smoothies, or use it in marinades and sauces.

Red Bell Peppers

Red bell peppers contain more vitamin C than most citrus fruits, making them a top choice for immune support. They are also rich in beta-carotene, contributing to healthy skin and mucous membranes.

How to Include: Slice raw peppers for a crunchy snack or roast them for a flavorful dish addition.

Turmeric

This vibrant yellow spice is known for its anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties, thanks to its active ingredient, curcumin. Turmeric may enhance immune cell activity and help the body fight infections.

How to Include: Stir turmeric into soups, curries, or golden milk lattes for a healthful boost.

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Health

Home Workouts: Effective Exercises You Can Do Without Equipment

You don’t need a gym membership or fancy equipment to stay fit. With some creativity and dedication, you can maintain your fitness routine from the comfort of your home. Bodyweight exercises—movements that use your weight for resistance—are incredibly effective for building strength, improving flexibility, and boosting cardiovascular health. Here’s a guide to effective equipment-free workouts for all fitness levels.

Benefits of Home Workouts

Convenience: Exercise anytime, anywhere without commuting to a gym.
Cost-Effective: No need for gym memberships or equipment purchases.
Customizable: Adapt workouts to your fitness level and goals.
Privacy: Work out in the comfort of your own space, free from distractions

Preparing Your Body

Before starting any workout, it’s essential to warm up to increase blood flow, loosen up your muscles, and reduce the risk of injury. Spend 5–10 minutes on these dynamic movements:

A full-body warm-up that gets your heart rate up.
Arm Circles: Rotate your arms forward and backward to loosen shoulder joints.
High Knees: Jog in place, lifting your knees to hip height.
Leg Swings: Swing each leg forward and backward to activate hip muscles.

Full-Body Workout

This workout targets multiple muscle groups, making it a time-efficient routine.

1. Push-Ups

Muscles Worked: Chest, shoulders, triceps, and core.

How to Do It:

Start in a high plank position with hands under your shoulders. Lower your body until your chest almost touches the floor. Push back up to the starting position.

Modification: Drop your knees to the ground for an easier variation.

2. Squats

Muscles Worked: Quads, hamstrings, glutes, and calves.

How to Do It: Stand with feet shoulder-width apart. Lower your hips back and down as if sitting in a chair, keeping your chest up. Return to standing.

Challenge: Add a jump at the top for squat jumps.

3. Plank

Muscles Worked: Core, shoulders, and back.

How to Do It:

Start in a forearm plank with elbows under the shoulders and the body in a straight line. Hold for 30–60 seconds, keeping your core tight.

Modification: Start with a high plank on your hands if the forearm plank is too challenging.

4. Mountain Climbers

Muscles Worked: Core, shoulders, and legs.

How to Do It:

Begin in a high plank position. Drive one knee toward your chest, then switch legs in a running motion.

Go as fast or slow as needed.

5. Glute Bridges

Muscles Worked: Glutes, hamstrings, and lower back.

How to Do It:

Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Lift your hips toward the ceiling, squeezing your glutes at the top.

Lower back down.

Burpees: A full-body cardio move involving a squat, jump, and push-up.

Skater Jumps: Jump laterally from one foot to the other like a speed skater.

Running in Place: Keep knees high and arms pumping.

Star Jumps: Jump explosively into a star shape, landing softly.

Cool-Down: Stretch and Recover

After your workout, take 5–10 minutes to cool down and stretch. This helps reduce muscle soreness and improve flexibility. Include these stretches:

Cat-Cow Stretch: Alternate between arching and rounding your back on all fours.

Hamstring Stretch: Sit with one leg extended, reaching toward your toes.

Child’s Pose: Kneel and extend your arms forward, resting your forehead on the ground.

Chest Stretch: Clasp your hands behind your back and lift slightly.

Sample 20-Minute Home Workout Routine

Warm-Up: 5 minutes

Circuit (repeat 3 times):

Push-Ups: 12 reps

Squats: 15 reps

Plank: 30 seconds

Mountain Climbers: 20 reps (10 per leg)

Glute Bridges: 12 reps

Cardio Burst: 2 minutes of burpees or running in place.

Cool-Down: 5 minutes

Tips for Success

Start Slow: If you’re a beginner, start with fewer reps or sets and gradually increase intensity.

Focus on Form: Proper technique prevents injuries and ensures effectiveness.

Stay Consistent: Aim for 3–5 weekly workouts to see results.

Listen to Your Body: Rest when needed and modify exercises as necessary.


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