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Love, an important ingredient for marital success

BY: Folashade Ajayi

Knowing that real love never ends, should help you understand there is no such thing as “falling in” and “out of love”.

Love is not primarily an emotion, but an attitude of the heart. Love is an unconditional giving of self to others regardless of the circumstances or condition. It is one of the major requirements for making any marriage work.

What It Means to Love Your Spouse

Have you ever thought about what you mean when you say the words, I love you to your spouse? In counseling people regularly declare their love for their spouse. However, if the person making this profession of love is struggling in their marriage, I usually ask them to define the word love for me. I ask for this definition because I have found that many couples struggle with loving each other in two ways.

The first is that they usually don’t understand the practical actions that are involved in loving another.

The second problem is much worse. Once a person knows how to love their spouse, they simply choose not to act on this knowledge. This failure to walk in love is the most common cause of problems in a marriage. Therefore, test your knowledge of what it means to love and determine if you are behaving in a manner that is helping or hindering your relationship.

 Love to a man is a command love unconditionally

    Submission to a woman is an act of obedience to God Love + respect – submission

Greek meaning of love for better understanding.

1. Phileo – is love on the level of casual friendship, marriage requires a deeper, more focused  love Phileo provides

 Phileo focus on personalities and physical attraction

Phileo tends to be ‘conditional’ love. As long as certain condition exist, the relationship exist.

2. Storge – the love of family

3. Eros – sexual love eros embrace sexual longing, craving, and desire, romantic love

4. Philia- shared experience-love for a shared goal

5. Ludus-flirting, playful affection

6. Philautia- self-respect, the joy in being true to our own values. The strength to care for

   ourselves, so that we can care for others- not selfish kind of love

7. Pragma-love which endures. Love between married couple; endures in sickness and lack

8. Agape – the divine love, unconditional love, sacrificial love. Without agape love forgiveness becomes difficult.

A Communication

Ways to enhance Communication

1. Be a good listener- good listener are good lovers

2. Be sincere- don’t say things that you don’t mean, speak clearly

3. Be mindful of correct timing- seek for the right time to talk

4. Be sensitive about the location- always choose right time and right place to say things.

5. Be sensitive about the manner of approach- the tone of your voice and posture. Treat your

   partner with utmost respect.

6. Gist, play, touch and gossip.

B   Knowing likes and dislike

Every partner should get to know what are the likes and dislikes of your spouse for the good interest of your relationship. Likes are those things that gladden your heart, which you always want to experience. Please protect as much as possible. E.g food; social activities; football

Dislikes are those things that annoy you, which you will not want anybody to do to you or give you. They distaste and upset you.

C   Understanding:

Family background, Cultural background, Educational background, Religious background, Social background

D. Be Patience

E. Intimacy

Types of intimacy

    Physical intimacy

    Emotional intimacy

    Sexual intimacy

How to fulfill your part.

1. Be willing to learn

2. Be ready to improve

3. Get education- Attend seminars, conference and read books

4. Communicate

Couples should understand that love has the power to cure all emotional anomalies, it helps to eliminate or minimize conflicts. Love makes marriage easier and blissful.

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#SpotlightAfricaThrowBackSeries Ado-Ekiti Indigenes Celebrate the Life and Times of Late Chief Ogunremi

Ado-Ekiti witnessed an outpouring of tributes as family, friends, and dignitaries gathered to honour the life of High Chief Oluwasesan Ogunremi, the Barafon of Ado-Ekiti and a respected leader of the traditional warlord chiefs in the kingdom.

The funeral began with a Christian wake and service of songs at the open grounds of St. Patrick’s Catholic Cathedral, Ado-Ekiti, before proceeding to the deceased’s compound in the Idolofin axis of the town for the main service. The ceremony, attended by top figures from within and outside Ekiti, featured prayers, thanksgiving, and eulogies in recognition of the late chief’s contributions to his community.

Following the service, Chief Ogunremi’s remains were interred at his residence, accompanied by hymns and tributes from relatives and well-wishers.

A reception later took place at the Ekiti Parapo Pavilion, where guests—including family members who travelled from the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and Germany—were entertained with a lavish banquet. The event featured a performance by renowned gospel and highlife singer Evangelist Yinka Ayefele, while veteran emcee Olushola Oladele, popularly known as Pa Aristoe, anchored the proceedings.

The gathering attracted prominent personalities such as Mr. Babatope Adebiyi (King Jafil), Mr. Goke Olatunji, Regent Omotunde Adelabu, Hon. Abiodun Fawekun of the Ekiti State House of Assembly, members of the Ewi-in-Council, lawmakers, politicians, business leaders, and artisans.

Born on February 7, 1929, to Mr. Williams Akomolafe Ogunremi and Princess Abigail Ogunremi in Ado-Ekiti, Chief Ogunremi began his education at St. George’s Primary School, Agere, before moving to Lagos for electrical training. He later founded the well-known Micho Electronics and worked with business figures such as Chief Lawrence Omole and Chief Ajanaku in Ilesha.

He married his first wife in Ilesha, where the ceremony was held at St. Mary’s Catholic Church. In 1970, he returned to Ado-Ekiti and established Micho Motors, expanding his business interests into the automobile sector. His ventures took him across Europe, including Austria, Brussels, Italy, and Germany.

In July 1988, he was installed as the Barafon of Ado-Ekiti by Oba George Adelabu, the Ewi of Ado-Ekiti. He became widely known for hosting the Udiroko Festival at his Okeilaja palace, a major cultural event that drew indigenes and chiefs before culminating in celebrations at the Ewi’s Palace. He later served as commissioner of the Ekiti State Electricity Board during the administration of Governor Adeniyi Adebayo.

Until his passing, Chief Ogunremi remained an active member of St. Patrick Catholic Cathedral, Ado-Ekiti. He is survived by his wives, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

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#SpotlightAfricaThrowbackSeries Chief (Mrs.) Olatunde Lawal Celebrates Her 95th Birthday

The 95th birthday of Alhaja Chief (Mrs.) Olatunde Lawal was marked with fanfare in Ado-Ekiti, drawing an impressive gathering of dignitaries, royal fathers, and prominent personalities from across the country. The event, which many described as a convention of the nation’s elite, reflected the high esteem in which the celebrant is held.

The day began with a prayer session at her residence, led by Muslim clerics and attended by family members and close friends. Guests were later hosted at the AB Event Centre, where Fuji legend King Wasiu Ayinde Marshall performed to the delight of attendees.

Alhaja Lawal, who hails from the prominent Sasere family of Ado-Ekiti, was married into the respected High Chief Lawal Arowa dynasty. She also holds the Osemowe of Ado-Ekiti title, a recognition of her family’s heritage. These deep-rooted connections explain the scale and grandeur of the celebration.

Her joy was evident throughout the day, particularly as she received tributes from her children, family, and friends. A highlight of the occasion was the arrival of her grandchildren from the United Kingdom, who flew in to honour her milestone.

The guest list featured several notable figures, including the former Deputy Governor of Ekiti State, Senator Abiodun Olujimi; former Chairman of Ado Local Government, Hon. (Mrs.) Tosin Aluko; business leaders, and members of the Ewi-in-Council.

The event was further distinguished by its elegant décor, a wide array of local and international cuisines, and exotic drinks, creating a memorable atmosphere of celebration.

For many in attendance, the occasion was a testament to the influence and legacy of Alhaja Chief (Mrs.) Olatunde Lawal, whose 95 years continue to inspire respect and admiration.

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Lifestyle

Denari, Tracy evicted from the BBNaija S10 show

Two housemates, Denari and Tracy, have been evicted from the Big Brother Naija Season 10 show after a very eventful week seven. The first housemate whose eviction was announced by show host Ebuka Obi–Uchendu was Denari. Tracy followed him out of the Big Brother Naija house not too long after.

During the live show interview with Ebuka, Denari was asked about his romantic relationship with Doris, who left the show last Sunday.

Ebuka asked, “Is this really real with Doris?” Denari responded in the affirmative, saying, “of course.”

To the typical “what next” question from evicted housemates, Denari said he’s open to every and any opportunity in the entertainment industry, including Ebuka’s job as the Big Brother Naija show host.

“Everything entertainment. I’m a good actor, singer and I can do this thing you are doing too (referring to Ebuka hosting the BBNaija show),” Denari said.

Tracy, in her live show interview, was asked by Ebuka why she said she wanted to leave the house earlier in the week. She responded that “the house was mentally exhausting.”

Describing her experience in the house, she said she enjoyed herself even though the house is crazy.

For Ebuka’s weekly throwback-inspired fashion statement, he delved into politics, tracing back 48 years to draw inspiration from the outfit former Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo wore during a 1977 visit to the White House to meet former US President Jimmy Carter.

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