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These Are Tell-Tale Signs That You Are In An Unhealthy Relationship

Unhealthy Relationships

Love is a beautiful thing; and everyone deserves to be loved unconditionally, especially when they are doing the same. However, with relationships, you don’t always get the perfect situation. The truth is, no relationship is void of its own drama. Every, now and then, the individuals in the relationship are bound to have friction with one another. That is accepted, however, is important to know if you are in a healthy or unhealthy relationship so you don’t keep backing the wrong tree.

Just like everyone deserves to be loved, nobody should be in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship. Therefore it is pertinent that you know what to look out for, or rather the signs that should make you alert to the fact that your relationship has become a toxic one. There are cases of deaths as a result of couples ignoring these tell-tale signs that the relationship has lost its juice.

We are not advocating that you up and leave your relationship because of these signs, no. We are saying if you know that there is an issue developing then you would make a better decision on the next step to take to either resolve the issues or abdicate the relationship altogether. Because, when a relationship is healthy, frictions could be resolved with a smiling face and affectionate dialogue, however, when the opposite is the case, there is pettiness, animosity, and flagrant disregard for the feelings of the other person. Here are the pointers to the fact that your relationship needs “medical” attention:

Insecurity

It is not one of your partner’s jobs to make you insecure, kill your confidence and rip you off your drive. Everyone has got their strengths and weakness and if there is one reason for relationships is to foster growth. That is, your partner should be able to fan your strengths and not project your weaknesses. If your partner is doing the opposite, that’s a sign that all is not well in your garden.

Extreme Jealousy

Jealousy is normal in relationships. As a matter of fact, a lack of it in a relationship may be seen as a sign that something is wrong. It is totally okay to want to be assured by your partner that there is no cause for alarm. However, the emphasis here is when jealousy becomes wild, extreme, and irrational. It often manifests in them snooping through your phone to see who you have been in contact with, monitoring your movement and even restricting them, gaging your social life, and disassociating you from others.

Unhealthy Relationship

Abuse 

Abuse here may include emotional, verbal, psychological, and even financial abuse. It also includes any form of manipulation. If you have started feeling unsafe in your relationship then it is probably an unhealthy relationship. When you are not assured of what happens the next moment or how they would react and your heart is just doing the races all the time, that’s a sign. They bring you down with words, restrict much-needed financial assistance because they can, constantly bring up your mistakes from the past, that is not a great place to be.

Untruthfulness

What is a relationship without trust? At the foundation of every relationship is the assurance that whatever we know or have heard from our significant other is as they say it is. However, when you can no longer take their words to the bank, then your relationship needs looking at. Dishonesty and lies would easily break the trust in a relationship, and when trust is gone, there can’t be real intimacy. A relationship becomes unhealthy when the partners lie about their whereabouts, financial dealings, social life, etc.

Read Also: Public Proposal – 5 Things That Could Make It All Go Wrong

Domineering Attitude

Is your partner domineering and controlling? That’s a sign you are in an unhealthy relationship because it never stops. It often escalates to several forms of manipulation because when they restrict your movement or impose the ideas on you or insist you do their bidding, they will find a way to make you believe they are doing it for your own good. This attitude, most times, leads to physical and domestic violence – which would mean the relationship has crossed the line from unhealthy to abusive.

Lack of Interest

If they don’t take interest in the relationship, they probably have no (or have lost) interest in you. A sign of a healthy relationship is genuine interest in the longevity of the relationship. There would be discussions around the future of the relationship. There would be plans, set goals, and obvious progression and growth. If all these are lacking, it is something to be concerned about because you may be in an unhealthy relationship.

Lack of Communication

If relationships are vehicles, communication is definitely the engine. It is always a tough task to discuss with your partner when there is an issue to be sorted out (like after reading this piece and you realize you are in an unhealthy relationship). Be that as it may, communication is an unavoidable ingredient for a healthy relationship. If silent treatment becomes the norm, that’s an unhealthy relationship right there. It will result in withdrawal, pulling away from you, your friends, your family, and the end is always no good.

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Jose Peseiro – Quick Facts About Super Eagle’s New Head Coach

Jose Peseiro super eagles head coach

The Nigerian Football Federation (NFF) on Wednesday the 29th of December after a video conference announced, Portuguese, Jose Peseiro as the new head coach of the Nigerian national team.

Peseiro is to take over from Austin Eguavoen who had been serving as the interim manager of the national team following the sacking of Gernot Rohr on December 13, 2021.

“After careful consideration of a memo presented by Chairman of the Technical and Development Sub-Committee, the Executive Committee endorsed a proposal for the appointment of Mr Jose Peseiro as the new head coach of the Super Eagles, following the end to the relationship with Mr Gernot Rohr,” the NFF said in a communique.

However, Peseiro would not immediately assume full responsibility for his new role as head coach, instead, Eguavoen would continue as coach of the Super Eagles until after the AFCON tournament which is slated to kick-off on the 9th of January in Cameroun. Peseiro would instead serve as an observer to Eguavoen at the AFCON tournament.

“…the Committee resolved that Mr. Augustine Eguavoen named the interim Head Coach, will lead the Super Eagles to the AFCON 2021 in Cameroon with Mr. Peseiro only playing the role of Observer.”

“It was unanimously agreed that the AFCON is a good avenue for Mr. Peseiro to launch a working relationship with Mr. Eguavoen, who will revert to his role as Technical Director (hence Mr. Peseiro’s immediate boss) after the AFCON.”

Read Also: N81 Million Is Needed To Cut Abuja Stadium Grass – Minister of Youth and Sports Development

NFF boss, Amaju Pinnick, had earlier revealed that he consulted Roma coach, Jose Mourinho, over the choice of manager for Super Eagles. Mourinho recommended his namesake and countryman, Jose Peseiro.

Quick Facts About Jose Peseiro 

  1. The Super Eagles coach was born José Vítor dos Santos Peseiro on 4 April 1960 in Coruche, Portugal.
  2. He had a 15-year playing career, playing for a long list of local clubs as a forward.
  3. Jose Peseiro served as the assistant manager to Carlos Queiroz at Real Madrid in the 2003/2004 season.
  4. His job as Nigeria’s head coach is his first time coaching an African national team.
  5. His first job in Africa was as the coach of the Egyptian club, Al Ahly (2015/2016).
  6. He won the Egyptian Premier League with Al Ahly in 2015/2016.
  7. Jose Peseiro resigned from his last job as head coach of the Venezuela national team in August 2021 due to unpaid wages. He was appointed in February 2020.
  8. He was the head coach of the Saudi Arabia national team from 2009 to 2011.
  9. Some top-tier European clubs Peseiro has coached include Panathinaikos, Sporting CP, Rapid București, and FC Porto.
  10. He led Sporting CP to the UEFA Cup Finals in 2004/2005.

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Lai Mohammed Identifies Seven Errors In The Leaked Lagos Panel #EndSARS Report

Lai Mohammed

Since the Lagos State Judicial Panel report on the #EndSARS protest and the events at the Lekki tollgate on the 20th of October, 2020 found it way to the internet, there have been several reactions to it. While Nigerians, including the international community, have called on government to implement the recommendations of the panel’s report, the Federal Governmet had been largely quiet until now.

Yesterday, the Federal Minister of Information, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, came out to reinstate the belief of the Federal Government that the alleged Lekki tollgate massacre is nothing but a script written by those who seek to discredit the President Buhari administration.

He maintained this damning assertion while pointing out several flaws in the report which according to him, proved that the report was another witch hunt. The minister motioned to at least seven missteps of the panel in the report which has now questioned the credibility and thoroughness of their investigations after more than one year of sitting,

Here are seven ‘inconsistencies and errors’ in the controversial #EndSARS panel report that Lai Mohammed highlighted in his press briefing on Tuesday:

1. Ballistic Report

“The report threw away the testimony of ballistic experts who testified before it. The experts said, inter alia, in their testimony: ”The Team finds that from the medical data examined, including the
timeline of arrival at a medical facility and the nature of the injuries sustained by the victims, who were taken to the 5 medical facilities, that no military grade live ammunition (high-velocity) was fired at the protesters at Lekki Tollgate on 20th October 2020, within the timeframe of reference (18.30- 20.34hrs).

“That the GSW (Gun Shot Wounds) injuries (4 in number between 19:05 and 19:45 hrs), which were
examined by the Team, can be safely identified as being discharged by either low-velocity caliber and/or artisanal/12-gauge firearms (artisanal firearms are locally-fabricated weapons). What is however
certain is that had the military personnel deliberately fired military-grade live ammunition directly at the protesters; there would have been significantly more fatalities and catastrophic injuries recorded. This was clearly not the case.”

2. Forensics

“The same panel that said it deemed as credible the evidence of the Forensic Pathologist, Prof. John Obafunwa, that only three of the bodies on which post mortem were conducted were from Lekki and only one had gunshot injury went on to contradict itself by saying nine persons died of gunshot wounds at Lekki!”

3. Victim Testimony

“The man whose evidence (that he counted 11 bodies in a military van where he was left for dead before he escaped) was found to be crucial by the panel never testified in person. Rather, the video of his ‘testimony’ was played by someone else. It did not occur to the panel to query the veracity of the testimony of a man who said he was shot and presumed dead but still had time to count dead bodies inside a supposedly dark van at night!”

4. Bloodstains and Bullet Casings

“The panel said trucks with brushes underneath were brought to the Lekki Toll Gate in the morning of Oct. 21 2020 to clean up bloodstains and other evidence, but still found bullet casings at the same site when it visited on Oct. 30th, 2020. It said soldiers picked up bullet casings from Lekki Toll Gate on the night of Oct. 20th, 2020, yet claimed that policemen came to the same spot to pick the same bullet casings on Oct. 21st, 2020!”

5. Absent Families of the Victims

“The panel was silent on the family members of those reportedly killed, merely insinuating they were afraid to testify. Even goats have owners who will look for them if they do not return home, not to talk of human beings. Where are the family members of those who were reportedly killed at Lekki Toll Gate? If the panel is recommending compensation for the families, what are their identities and addresses? Who will receive the compensations when no family members have shown up to date?”

6. Victims List

“How can a Judicial Panel convince anyone that the names of some casualties of the Lekki Toll Gate incident listed as numbers 3 (Jide), 42 (Tola), and 43 (Wisdom) are not fictitious names.? Why did the Judicial Panel feel compelled to concoct a ”massacre in context” as a euphemism for ”massacre”? A massacre is a massacre. What is ”massacre in context?'”

How did a man who reported seeing the lifeless body of his brother himself end up being on the list of the panel’s deceased persons?

7. One-Sided Report

“The report never mentioned cases of police personnel who were brutally murdered or the massive destruction of police stations, vehicles, e.t c during the Endsars protest. Does this mean that the panel didn’t consider policemen and women as human beings? The report didn’t make any recommendation on the innocent people whose businesses were attacked and destroyed during the protest in Lagos. I think it was too busy looking for evidence to support its conclusion of ‘massacre in context’.”

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Islamic Cleric, Gumi Builds School For Herdsmen; Calls On FG To Follow Suit

FG Proscribes Bandits

Controversial Islamic cleric, Sheikh (Dr.) Ahmad Gumi has revealed that he has established a school for herdsmen in the forest as a way of encouraging them to drop their violent ideologies and follow the path of peace and nation-building.

According to the sheik, the school which is located at Kagarko Grazing Reserve near Kohoto Village in Kaduna State is named Sheikh Uthman Bin Fodio Centre and was built by Sheikh Gumi funded Mosque Foundation Limited, Kaduna.

The Muslim preacher who has been accused of being a “bandit sympathizer” has also called on the Federal Government to follow his lead also said that the bandits and killer herdsmen have shown willingness to end the killings and kidnappings if they can have access to basic education and other amenities.

He said: “If the center which is designed to educate the herdsmen is replicated everywhere in the Country, Nigerians will live in peace. Instead of spending billions on military hardware to fight the bandits, Nigeria should spend such money on schools and teachers. I have spoken with the bandits and they have expressed willingness to drop their arms and embrace peace if their children can be given education and other social amenities.

“What motivated me to start this project was to solve the insecurity problem we have from the root because every crime has its perpetrators and perpetrators are drawn from a pool so we want to go there and dry the pool and we found out that education is the best cure.

Read Also: Gumi Accuses The Military Of Being In A Bromance With Bandits; Army Responds

“If they are educated, they will not be doing what they are doing. So, we say we must take education to the grassroots and we embarked on the project to also be an example for others, local government, state, and federal and rich individuals even cooperative societies to come together and make sure that we are directed across the forest to know what we can do to carter for nomads; it does not cost much, very little and it will help to educate them and we will live peacefully with them.

“What we have here is a center containing six classrooms that can be used for primary, secondary schools and at various times you can teach all categories at all times and the place will be engaged for 24 hours because the herdsmen usually take their cattle out by 10am and bring them back by dawn or sunset so they have 2 hours before they take their cattle away and we have 2 to 3 hours because we like to put some solar light so that they can read 8, 9, 10 in the night so that the herder can go and come back.

“We have schools, we have hospital and also showing them how to grind the foliage which they can use to feed their animals, some of them don’t need to go out because those things are so cheap and farmers are throwing those things away, soon farmers will start charging for it. If we can duplicate this everywhere Nigerians will live in peace.”

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